I swear, whenever I get to Katy's we end up hanging out, bullshitting, eating, more bullshitting, and more eating.... Then all of a sudden, one of us pulls out our laptops and start showing each other things we find funny.
Somehow, three hours of our night ends up being devoted to watching videos of road rage/car crashes over in Russia.
This is absolutely addicting and terrifying. How the hell can these people be allowed on their roads? I don't believe they know what a turn signal is. I also think that the break is located somewhere on the back of the drivers seat, just enough under the headrest that they cannot reach it. Holy shit these videos boggle my little brain.
I would be in a constant state of panic if I had to drive over there. Yeah. Fuck. That. Shit.

I DO find this video hilarious and awesome, however. I find both drivers to be assholes, but this is definitely good payback.

BTW
I know I'm large and loud and for some reason proud, but Katy says I look retarded.

I say I look comfy.
People at work keep commenting on what I've been wearing lately.
I'm wearing warm. Fuck style and keep with the comfort right now.

The end

The last two days have been absolutely mournful. I couldn't sit, lay down, laugh, eat, breathe... Even looking around was awful.
I think I'm finally getting over this. I just took some off-brand NyQuil and expect myself to be falling asleep very soon. Actually, I feel like I'm fighting it off right now.
Rosemary's Baby is playing. I'm only half watching. I need to rewind to about 15 minutes ago, but I don't think the medicine will allow me that time to watch it.
Actually.
I'm done.
G'night.

Uuughhh. 

My chest/shoulder/neck area hurt so much. It feels like that ice cream shell topping: stiff and cold. I feel lik all I need is a spoon, and someone can crack me open and make me feel better. 

Before I went to bed last night, my throat felt like it was swelling and then I had a horrible cough. It's gotten worse since I woke up. I've eaten nothing but soup and I can't take it anymore. 

I'm gettin' my mac'n'cheese on.

Reading Chamber of Secrets while Memento is playing inthe background. Drinking hot chocolate while trying to push bitter feelings towards myself out of my mind. Bitter feelings I like to blame the prologue to my lady parts' horrible journey through a red river of burning hot pain for doing. 

This is me tonight.

The last fuck that I gave of the day was probably around 7 hours ago.

Also, I'm a huge fan of runon sentences. Fuck off.

I cannot believe I have spent 5 hours looking up the most random shit on google...

Obviously, these searches aren't the only ones that took up my time.
I'm not gonna lie.
It all started with Joan Rivers.
I did end up on this wonderful blog (I was still searching for things while reading it, though) about a military housewife who has 5 children. 2 of them have downs syndrome and 1 of the 2 is adopted from the Ukraine.
Absolutely blown away by how amazing her children are.

I don't know if it is because I'm about to start shark week or what, but children have been making me want to cry all night. They are such brave, curious, and innocent little creatures. I wish I didn't have such little patience, because they are freaking cute to look at or just hang out with for a bit, but it is totally awesome to just hand them back to their parents.

Oh glob, I don't know what I'm rambling about anymore.
I'm super glad I somehow opted out of the soppy self pity "I SUCK" post that I was thinking of in my head.

Herp.

Sometimes when I'm bored and the internet isn't working on my phone, I like to pull up the compass and make it point to exactly 0 degrees N.

I've gotten better at doing this faster, so it has become less fun…

So, I'm driving to my mom's house. The road I'm on is windy and next to a lake. I go around a corner and all of a sudden a couple of geese decide to just cross the road RIGHT in front of my car. I could've sworn the first goose held up its wing feathe and was like "Hold on bitch. We own the road now."
I watched them safely cross the road and was on my way. This seriously got me wondering...
Why is there never a dead goose on the road like squirrels/raccoons/deer/etc.? All those mofo's are dead dead with blood and guts out, shit is nasty. I have never seen a dead goose though. It's like thy know some kind of etiquette that saves them from getting hit.
I see geese cross the street all the time and cars stop and wait for them. A cat crosses the road and they will get smashed to bits. Wtf is this shit? Geese need to teach all the other animals Aristocats Style how to cross the road. Them mo'fuckas don't die.

I am missing some points that I wanted to make, buy I've been gradually typing this rant on my phone all day at work... I am not spellchecking this thang either.

Peace out bxtches.