I've wanting to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo for a week. For me, that is
forever! I've been begging Knick to go with me since it came out. I couldn't wait any longer. I went last night by myself.
So so so good.
The End.

I'm sick of crappy people... Actually I'm sure we all are. I was just in the Chipotle in N. Canton (the devil's playground) and ordered a veggie bowl. The dude was totally cool and funny, but the chick ignored me when I told her no on the fajita crap. She put it on anyways and looked at me afterwards as if daring me to tell her to remake it. Ugh! Of course I didn't speak up... So now I'm pissed because of her look, the fact that she pretty much put nothing on my bowl afterwards, and that I've watched her screw up before and get pissed at the customer. This is a tiny complaint, but it still means a bit to me. I know I'm going to avoid this Chipotle from now on.

FYI I have a HUGE complaint/rant to go on about stuff that went down at Dillards a couple weeks ago. It hasn't been posted yet because I'm still so pissed that I will sound like a raging lunatic if I talk about it now.

Hello people who stand behind others in lines.
Step the fuck back. You will get yours witg a little patience. You are only making yourself look like a jerk and pissing the person in front of you off.
Again:
You will get yours.

I hate being a girl. I feel like every time I meet another girl who is too cool for drool, I must hate her. T.C.F.D. as in they are more creative, or prettier, or more social than I am. I hope this feeling is totally mutual between all women and I'm not a total haggard bitch.
After meeting the girl and hanging out with her more, I learn her flaws and feel less intimidated. The other after hanging out situation would be that I finally realize she is a total bitch. A bitch from being completely self-centered (which is the most common situation), a one-upper, or she just completely hates on me. All of these have happened.
I need to get out of my "girl mind" and quit getting intimidated. You are all human and so am I.

Update:

• Painted my nails green.
• Got a sparkle phone cover.
• Painting my lighter gold.
• Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
• Falling in love with Kate Winslet aaaaallll over again.
• Generally enjoying my day off.

Update on the brand new iPhone:
I don't have to get a new one. Apple is brilliant and makes brilliant little machines that brilliantly don't break... brilliant.
Watchin' my Harry Pooter Blu Ray boxset thankyouverymuch.

I know they are saying pumpkin pie, but it sound like fuckin' pie. Damn you, Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree.. If anybody disagrees, I'm sending the Fuck-You-You're-Wrong Police after them.

Makeup tutorial videos have been my favorite to watch lately. This particular video is crazy to me. I want to switch jobs and be a makeup consultant so I could wear my face like this. The colors!!!

Slowly but surely, I'm going to buy MAC makeup again. I'm so stoked.

Guess who has to get a new phone next week?
Yeah. That person was an idiot and tried to watch Netflix on her phone while drunk.  Then guess what I she did? Dropped it in the water... Now the speakers don't work and I she has to use the headphones to call people. Fuck me.
Gotta go buy a new phone next week.

Today, as I was driving my sleepy ass to Dunkin Donuts, I passed a woman walking down the street. From the way she was dressed, I could tell that she wasn't walking to any destination other than her goal weight. As I passed, I said, "You go, girl" quietly to myself. This was so I wouldn't seem rude by shouting it. Lately, I've been noticing myself mentally cheering on those that are slightly overweight and trying to alter that. 

I'm proud of them and ashamed of myself.

I refuse to get on the scale anymore. 

Talked to a mean customer on the phone today. Damned woman made me cry. I really want to get super awesome at this job. I really hope they don't think I'm too weak to work in customer service.

Got my nails done and bout some MAC today to make myself feel better (and to celebrate my first paycheck). I keep making all these big plans with my future paychecks in my head. I've listed them several times before. I've also been thinking about getting an apartment, lately. I know I won't be able to afford one right now. I'm thinking about in the future, around my birthday.

I really can't stop imagining millions of mirrors in my apartment. I don't think it's because I'm a narcissist(but it probably is). I think it would be fantastic to have mirrors on my wall, on my table, and even have some decorations made out of mirrors. Mirrors are just swanky to me.

I now know why I've never been a flirt.

It's fucking sickening to be flirted with and/or watch someone be obviously flirted with.

SNORING.

On a high note: The Young Ones has been a part of my day and night. Whoo whooooo.

I just had this crazy psychedelic dream about deadly worms that get you high from their bloody bite.
Ugh. I didn't like it at all. I'm not a big fan of drugs. Imean, I have never tried anything but pot (and does that really count?). I can't really describe why it saddens me to find out somebody is hardcore into some crazy drug that I have never been around. Yet again, another post that couldn't be cared about.

OOOHH! I just remembered another part of my dream! I met Daniel, Emma, and Rupert from the Harry Potter movies... And either Knick turned into Rupert or Rupert turned into Knick. Either way, I had a steamy make out session with one of them before I woke up.
Oooh baby.

Starting my afternoon off decently.
Cigarette and overly creamed coffee.

When I woke up (about an hour ago), I had been trying to remember my really freaky dream. I laid there motionless until it all came back to me. I can't say anything about the dream now, because I have officially forgotten it. Afterwards, I started thinking about how Thanksgiving is coming up. How I'm going to balloon into a manatee. Freaked me out. Then I started to think about how last year around that time, I was at my lowest weight in years... I slept through Thanksgiving Day. Shit. I have no excuse to miss out on it now. Maybe I'll fake being sick.

On another note, I was just thinking about how I will always be stuck in the ugly duckling stage of my life. My hair is short, my nails are gross, I can't put on make-up that well, and I have all this fucking acne. I swear I didn't just start puberty. When will this end? I want to be a fucking swan.

oh la la
I love this.
I have been informed that H&M's clothes are pretty cheap. I had always assumed the opposite because of the prices on the online store.
SO! After I start this job, save up money to fix my car, and majorly pay some bills, I'm taking a trip up there.
Done deal.

So, I just woke up and I'm trying to go back to bed. That seems impossible now that I've downed a glass of apple cider.

Tumblr post.

I was just trying to look through all the people that I follow. I've known this for a while, but if I get over a certain number of people that I follow, I have to make the (what seems like serious) decisions to unfollow a few people. I need to stay under that certain number to stay sane. I can't explain why.

When I first got on Tumblr, the number was around 32, I believe. It then went up to 40. Now I am at 52 or something. Uggghhh. I hate following too many people. I feel like I can't keep track of them all. I follow those I know and ones that I will look at every time I log on. 

Inactive, irrelevant to my current interests, or just annoying/pretentious. Unfollow. Peace-out. See ya later.

Same thing goes for Gaia. Yes, I sadly still have an account on there. It's for the dress-up, I swear! If I can't put a face with the user, I just haven't spoken to them in over a year, or they're just annoying/pretentious, unfriended. No way, no how. 

I realize that this isn't relevant to anything. I just realized how I have an issue with how many I follow on tumblr. I'm sure this is silly. 

OH WELL.

I'm slurpin' some coffee and about to smoke a cigarette. Gotta hop in the shower. Gotta get a call for this new job. Gotta get more money to pay my piled up bills. Gotta stop myself from freaking out.

ugh ugh ugh

Alright, I'm in love with my iPhone. I downloaded the blogger app. I want to say its lame, but I feel it will be useful when I'm having an internal rant.

What a terrific and awkward moment in my life...

This man, Chuck Klosterman, is someone that I used to daydream about having a conversation with. I would never actually know what we would say beyond, "Hey, how's it goin'?" I loved listening to him speak that night. Reading or listening to what an intelligent, intellectual, and funny person has to say is something I could do all day. If I am required to talk back, then this would become the most embarrassing day of my life. I feel like such a horrible moron when I am required to throw in my input on a situation or viewpoint. I really want to sound intelligent, but I just come off as a slow no-witted troll. I had him sign one of my books (which I've been calling by the wrong name for what I'm gonna guess has been years now) and got a picture with him. He then said he really appreciated us coming out, and actually seemed genuine about it. As I was walking away, I feebly said, "I really like your books." That's it. I really like your books. Not, "Blah blah blah something pop culture." Fuuuuck! I'm such an idiot that I can't even think of a real sentence that I could have asked him! I'm so embarrassed about what I said and what I could have said to him. I really just hope that he forgets how stupid I am. Which, I'm actually super sure he forgot it as I walked away. 

I really just want to figure out how to have an intelligent conversation with someone without sounding like a nincompoop or a jerk.

Ughhgghhgghhh all I want is coffee right now. I'm broke as shit, but there is a Dunkin' Donuts down the street. That's what I've got my stomach set on. Time to go beg, but I'll try to do it brilliantly. I'll be a brilliant beggar.

So, it's 12:30 and I just woke up. I'm smoking a cigarette and enjoying my time on this damned laptop machine. Something scurries in front of the garage door. I look up. It's a chipmunk. They are super cute, but quite terrifying when you just woke up. Well, now I know the little guy is living in the garage/wall/ceiling/whatever area.

/end nonsense

The boy hates getting on Facebook because of this game. It's so addicting, but I wish it were so much more like the real Sims. Try again, Playfish.

I have been watching youtube videos of this show for the past hour and a half. I guess one could say that I'm mildly intrigued by the transformation that these girls go through. Mildly. I swear every girl who has grown up with the media somewhere in their grasp goes through this every morning, too.
It seems that the judges pick the girl who looks the least "cutie asian" (I don't know what else to call that look, and I know I sound horrible ignorant)  as the winner at the end of each episode. Of course, that can't be seen in this one. I'm just going to assume that Kitty wasn't chosen, but damn I loved her eye makeup. I'm going to try to emulate that tomorrow.
Meaning: look up how-to videos tomorrow.

Well, that's just disappointing.

Score! Thumbelina is on Netflix now! I've been waiting for this, actually. When I was younger (and even now), I could watch this movie on repeat. I love the artwork, facial expressions, and the clothing in this movie. I think it's so funny that she plays with her skirt so much. It's almost as if she was a child, and maybe that's why I loved it so much. The beetle dress was always my favorite outfit, though. It's so eccentric.
After watching this movie, I realize that all fairy tale movies are possibly the root to my (and maybe all girl's)obsession with ballerina flats. I remember in Beauty and The Beast, Belle's shoes were the prettiest things I had ever seen. Ugh! They were so hard to draw though! I haven't tried to draw flats in years. I wonder how they would look.
Next post: picture of ballerina flats.

Reasons why I felt awesome earlier today:
1. Lukas behaved so well today.
2. Knick stopped by.
3. Knick got a new DECENT car.
4. KNICK BROUGHT ME FLOWERS <333 OMG SOSO KEWT<333
5.

I thought my outfit was kinda awesome today (of course you can't see it). I thought I planned it out so well. Black/gray sweater dress, black hose, black wedges from payless, gold belt, and gold necklace on my ankle. Yaarrr.

I came into work feeling chipper and left feeling bitter.
I'm not the perfect saleswoman and need coached super badly, I understand and I'm cool with that. The way my manager gets frustrated with me bothers me only a tad. But GOD DAMMIT, I so so so HATE being talked to like I have the mental capacity of a 2 year old. FUCK OFF. I'm not an idiot. I can understand what you're saying if you explain it correctly.
Basically: LRN 2 SPK BETR

i hope certain people don't look back and think of me as "that"girl.

i'm in a mood.

Romeo + Juliet

finally watched it.
it was pretty and pretty boring.
one thing i extremely despise in movies is "love at first sight".
its such a load of shit.
reason why i dislike most romantic movies.
you can't truly fall in love with somebody just because you think they're a babe.
not possible.
you can totally think they are a babe, get to know them, and THEN fall in love.
but if you cut out the middle-man of the steps, that would be love at first sight, and that would be as said before: not possible.

on another note; holy shit, can leo get any cuter?

ugh i'm so gross.
gross gross gross gross gross.
i need to shower, but it's too late.
i somehow got a huge zit on the bridge of my nose. it's freaking me out. so big. so painful.
i have almost nothing clean to wear. need to do laundry. no time.

it seems like i'm slowing down with my groove in. argghhh.

doz dis werk?

i cant determine whether its truly strange or normal that imcompletely enjoy racing my cat upstairs to her food bowl.

be proud of me, world.
i just gave my cat a bath for the first time in 5 years.

next grown-up step:
wake up early in the mornings and drink coffee as my fuel for the day.

what the fuck.
i dont want to be a big girl anymore.

i feel like a big kid right now. ive got a job, going to school, and basically putting all my money into bills.
such a good girl.

ive gone to the gym a few times, which makes me feel positive. i wish i would utilize it more, though.
ive been with knick for almost a year now, and that makes me beyond happy.
i wish i was painting more, though. it feels good to finish a piece of work and stare at it for hours.

all i need now is my own place and ill be all grownd up.

ughhh. i tried to make gifs.. no go.

lil bro has been sleeping for a couple hours now..
i feel like i should wake him up, but i wanna finish my shoooow.

why do i weigh a million tons?

my cat is mean mugging me right now.
i forgot to buy her food so she is going to be without until later tomorrow when i can get some.
i feel too guilty to eat anything in front of her.

ugh.
for the past couple months i had been looking forward to being able to get into a couple gyms near my house for free. now, i learn that they might not actually be free.
blob blob blob blob

jumped on the bandwagon and got a twitter.
heh.

so, im just going to point out how proud i am of myself for posting on a blog (not so) regularly.
usually i forget about them.
and this might just be ramblings about nothing, but at least im posting.
or maybe thats not a good thing?

seriously debating getting a full time job.
uuuuuuuggggggggggggggggghhhhh.

hating the fact that when i find a show i like on netflix, i realize waaaay after i get into it that it was cancelled and there are only two or three seasons.
omg.

i need a night like this....
i need many nights like this.

one solid piece of work

so i lost my 00 tunnel earlier today and was switching the plug in my other ear around so neither of my holes would close up....
was so fed up with that, i almost ended my night by just sticking a marker cap in my ear.... buuuut i found it. :]

slightly annoyed.
all of a sudden, people i have no interest in speaking to have been contacting me.
first one wasnt all so bad.
second one was expected.
third person, im still confused about.
and fourth has just plain pissed me off.

FUCK OFF.
thanks. :)

GET IT GUUURRRL
100 crunches a night among other things.
im feeling a little better about myself, but im still too scared to get on the scale.
lets lose summadat weight!
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOOO

btw, im watching jem.

i just had the scariest dream last night.
i gained 10 more pounds.
UGH
i thought i had lost all control of myself.

this song would be my anthem if they changed one word to everyday.

christ, blogspot.
when i finally want to post something... everything fucks up!
so i havent been able to post for a bit. boo hoo.

im finally 21 and i have a job.
now im looking into school.

GETTIN MY SHIT TOGETHA, BRAH.

went to the gym.
i went to the gym.
ughhhh. im so unhappy with what my body is doing right now.

currently watching.

"He cleaned the house..."

eating watermelon, drinking purpz powerade and wishing i dont weigh as much as i do.
ugggggggghhhh.
i have to watch out for my meemaw this week while she is recovering.
basically, im babysitting her devil dog.
weeoo.


btw aiden quinn is a babe.

im failing to meet the demands of my ever growing "movies to watch" list.

im also going to put out an application for a new friend to enjoy these films with.
now to get myself motivated...

i feel like ive always loved this man.

i need to find a way to curb my appetite.
i can feel my whole body expanding.

ugh.
what am i doing?
i need to be looking for a job.
i feel like i should already have a job, though.

why isnt my job here yet?
commmeeerre commere com'ere come here.
ugh.

see that face?
yeah. id piss my pants if i ever saw one of these irl.
just sayin.

so today i was wondering to myself.... why do i bite my straws?
my mind immediately came to the fact that any place that sells soft drinks, or any kind of prepared drink (frappucinos, slushies, etc.) has huuuuge fucking straws.

when i was younger, i noticed that mcdonalds changed their straws and i just thought "what the FUCK?" then there are panera bread's straws for their smoothies.... jesus christ.. im sure that these companies thought it would hilarious to see their customers make their best dick sucking faces in order to slurp on some drank... well i say no.
bite those damn straws.
if you dont, it's too much drink at once.

you have to savor that shit.

i feel like a have two things in common with lauren in rules of attraction: i didnt lose my v card until i was 19. im assuming she's a freshman in college so maybe she's 18 or 19.
 and she is in love with victor, who is basically exactly like a guy i dated back in the day... i dont even feel like describing him. watch the movie and find out.


"if she's old enough to pee, she's old enough for me."

did my own acrylic nails last night.
for some horribly dumb reason, i didnt think that it would smell.
no windows open, no fans running, and baby in the house.
good thing the little slugger's door was closed.
i kept feeling like i was swooning all night...

BUT LOOK AT MY NAILS :D

trying to educate mutti on rhps, but she took a nap at the best part.
:(

skul fukd


on another note... i woke up without my voice this morning. i have it feeling it is a result of all that repressed shower singing that i did in my car yesterday. whoops.

about to have another one of my visible facial piercings taken out.
another foot into the big kid door.
gulp.

i cant stop imagining how cool it would be to have penny go grocery shopping for me.
imagine this cute little cat getting me medicine and food. :)

uhgod... this is another point in my life where i should be a nervous wreck.
imean, im completely congested and tired and thirsty.
but thats nothing compared to how i should feel: unsure, unsecure, and scared.
ughh. gimme back my medicine.

nothing new to report.

oh baby oh baby.
guess whats on showtime on demand?? c:

im glad that my manager keeps in mind the most important thing at work: saving his own ass and screwing others.
/sarcasm

just made this like 5 minutes ago.
this is penny.
this is all penny does.

watching a thing on comedy central about greg giraldo.
fffff i didnt know he was dead.

and i just found out he was funny.

i've come to the conclusion that all parents hate their kid's cats.

i almost forgot how dumb it feels to go to a store just for period accessories.

"What are you doing? You're too green! Get out of here!"

my head feels like it's swimming.
i want to crack it open and let the water out.

hey sick truck, quit running me over...

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
how do i reach these kids?!

been trying to watch this for the past two weeks now.

buy me a macbook so i dont need to wait..

Mary Virginia Carmack

porn: let's watch it.

i feel like tonight might be another bad night for sleep.

jeremiah the piercer put new jewelry in my nostril yesterday.
just found a pimple in my nose today.
eww how embarrassing.

more giant sweaters need to be added to my wardrobe...

nooooope

sup, february?

car died.

i just had a dream that my cat max was still alive.
he then changed into a rat who was extremely sick.
it was large like max used to be and just as lazy.


anyways... i was initially excited about him being alive again, but then suddenly revolted by the sight of him.
i don't think it had anything to do with him being a rat, but with his tail coming out in two different directions.
one end went out of the usual area a tail would be, and the other went through his body and out his nose.

i cant find a damned pencil or pen... i wanna sketch this so bad...
FUUUUUUUUU

unffff
what you see is what you get!

funny story about this picture: i dont know that guy, but ive heard of him.


end story.

yin and yaaaaaaang